Do you dread getting dressed in the morning because you just don't know what to wear? You hate every outfit you own and it's beginning to affect your mood and how you feel about yourself. It happens to all of us, no matter what size we are. The pressure from society to have a thin, svelte body is unavoidable—and let's be real, most of us do not look like our favorite celebs. (In fact, most celebs don't look like their own magazine covers either since the invention of Photoshop.) But here's the thing, we don't have to.
Body image expert Jessica Weiner delves into why women use "the language of fat" and how it affects their body image and self esteem in her book Do I Look Fat in This?. Find out how to improve your relationship with your body and feel comfortable in your own skin and live by her motto, "Life doesn't start five pounds from now."
Something vaguely resembling a Greek tragedy takes place every time I go into my closet to get dressed. I wish I could say I'm being melodramatic, but I'm not. "What should I wear today?" Five simple words, for some. For me it's a moral dilemma, and the consequences can have epic proportions.
Haunted by the memories of past fashion disasters, I take small, careful steps into enemy territory and open my closet door. I know the terrain. I have studied it for years. I have the same strategy, the same plan. Get in and get out. As fast as I can. Don't look at myself naked in the mirror. Don't stop to ponder, poke, or pick. Just dodge in, grab something resembling an outfit, and get out as quickly as possible.
When it's over, I stop to survey the spoils of my war. Oh, no. I'm not happy with my outfit. I must venture in again, go behind enemy lines, and wage another attack.
This time I emerge victorious. I have found an outfit that will surely cover, hide and protect my assets when, lo and behold, I discover a lone stain undetected by the dry cleaners, or a snug-fitting waistline that I could have sworn fit fine a few days ago. Or I'm faced with an outdated, trying-too-hard, doesn't-really-fit-my-body shirt that I bought because it was on sale.
As I stand wrapped in the cloak of my valiant battle, I am ashamed, angry, embarrassed, and hopeless. I experience such a swelling of emotion that I find I must bellow at the world around me, at the injustice in my life, a scream so loud and so soul-shaking that it most definitely wakes up the neighbors: "Why, oh why, am I so gross that I have nothing to wear?"
No matter that the two phrases making up this sentence don't really connect.
"I feel gross" signals an immersion in the Language of Fat, really covering up some deeply rooted body-loathing and an inability to express other emotions, such as anxiety, joy, trepidation, and so on. "I have nothing to wear" signals that I am at the end of my stylish rope with nontrendy clothing that may or may not actually fit my current body size. Apart, these phrases only pack a small punch. But put them together and you have a supersize version of self-loathing.
Comments
Date: 01/28/2009 - 02:03 am
am 26 years old,am short and i want to be tall just
bit.please assist
Date: 01/23/2009 - 05:01 am
I AM 27YEARS OLD AND A WORKING CLASS LADY,I WAS AVERAGE WEIGHT UNTIL DECEMBER ,I AM NOW NOTICING AN INCREASE IN WEIGHT DAILY. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO AS I NOW LOOK VERY BULKY.HOW DO I GET TO REDUCE MY WEIGHT.
Date: 01/16/2009 - 09:58 am
One of my self-defined weight loss incentives is to be able to dress like French women. They own relatively few items of clothing but all of them good quality. It will be wonderful to step into my closet and pick out a perfectly-fitting skirt, a soft but tailored blouse and a jacket in a coordinating color. Maybe even that all-important silk scarf French women always seem to have draped around them in some mysteriously clever way.
In theory I should be able to do that now, at my present weight. But I'm just not investing the money. I'm content to schlep around in my current wardrobe and keep the outfit a la Francais as a goal.
Date: 01/16/2009 - 08:47 am
What a great article! I'm going to buy the book. As I entered 2009, I knew that this was my year of self discovery and reality about my inner and outer beauty. Thank you for using humor, common sense and positive words to let women know that the media does not project the real us! We are all women of beauty in different shapes, sizes and colors.
Date: 01/10/2009 - 11:03 am
the best half sentence of this inspiring and very true story was, "a genuine glow of self-esteem is the sexiest accessory anyone can have." This impacted me most. As a teen reading this, everything suddenly makes sense. The girls most sought-after in school are extremely confident. They're comfortable in their own skin. They probably have been from day one, as they all look like models, get good grades, are size 2 or smaller... But know I understand its all about confidence. Thank you!