Circle my fat and you die
As reigning Queen of Horrid Reality TV, I found myself watching this vapid, soul-less show called Make Me a Supermodel yesterday while Ellipticizing. (Irony, hello.) During the casting call edition (I so love casting call editions, BTW – America’s Next Top Model, Real World, Flavor of Love – such an opportunity to escape, dream, relax and feel better about yourself, all at the same time!) Tyson McSwoony Beckford follows some modeling agent around as she asks the candidates to strip, whips about a black marker and then...you know it…circles and X’s the areas which need toning.
These models are, like, 6’ tall and whippet-thin, mind-you.
Only a few were spared and the guys got the marker business, too.
I thought this was just an urban sorority hazing myth but no, it happened right there on my 6 X 6 TV screen and I practically had to swallow an anti-anxiety drug for the models, I felt so awful.
Tell me, what would you do if someone approached your naked body with a marker?
-Shriek like a hyena and run away crying
-Slap them across the face like Zsa Zsa
-Grab the marker and draw LOSER across THEIR face
-Remain calm because, after all, you’re in a plastic surgeon’s office and you're paying for it
I’m off to a Heart Truth Go Red for Women event downtown – Quaker Oatmeal invited me! I don’t own red so I’m attempting to get away with a pink sweater. Wish me luck and I’ll report back soon!
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Comments
Date: 04/13/2009 - 11:57 pm
Remain calm because, after all, you’re in a plastic surgeon’s office and you're paying for it.
It's part of the business. You asked for the truth when you went on a show like that. But still HARSH!
Date: 03/03/2009 - 08:07 am
OMG, that was so funny! I am just waking up to my second coffee and early morning computer routine, I never read blogs. I clicked a link and here I am. As someone who is in her early 40's, I am just now experiencing some added bulges that seriously appeared overnight! (Ok yea sure, but it seems like that's what happened.) I am so amazed at what a person will go through for their "15 minites of fame", so I don't feel sorry for them, it is my dose of comic relief!
Thank you for the early morning laugh!
Date: 02/27/2009 - 04:04 pm
I've always wanted an opportunity to slap someone zsa-zsa style! Although the slapping would've started about the time they asked me to disrobe. Seriously, they should make a reality show where nobody cooperates. I could totally be on that one.
Date: 02/27/2009 - 03:20 pm
That's so terrible! But, since I would never audition for any reality TV show, I feel safe.
Once, however, I bought Tyson Beckford a drink at a bar. And then I hid in the bathroom, lest he found out it was me. It worked for my cute friend that he actually approached & talked to (and who claimed the drink had come from her).
good times.
http://www.gazellesoncrack.com
Date: 02/27/2009 - 03:01 pm
I'll just echo the above, and add that I'd probably kick them in the shins and stomp on their heads before running away as fast and as far as possible.