By: Leslie Goldman

Aug 31, 2009

Those of you who have read Locker Room Diaries may remember this anecdote from the scale chapter, Conquering Mt. Toledo:

…One morning as I changed, I heard the joyful voice of a young girl behind me. Maybe three years old, she was galloping around the room, playing peek-a-boo with the locker doors, blowing warm air from the hair dryers into her face, and generally just admiring herself in the mirrors. As her attention focused on the scale, I saw her climb up onto it with great effort. The little girl began to jump up and down, yelling for her mom to come view her in her newly conquered territory.

The mother followed her daughter’s gleeful voice to The Scale. There, she gave her a quick rumpling of the hair and a “That’s great, honey!” then lifted her off the scale and got on herself.  In one swift motion, the mother’s face soured and her head dropped. She stepped gingerly off the scale and, without another word, returned to her locker where she was dressing. And wouldn’t you know it, before I could finish the phrase “vicious cycle” in my mind, the little girl climbed back onto the scale and, in a performance worthy of a pint-sized Oscar, imitated her mother’s actions, right down to the pouty face. Was she even old enough to read the numbers? Probably not. But in less than one minute, she had learned a lesson that would likely follow her the rest of her life: The scale is something that makes women sad.

I told this story not to place blame squarely on the shoulders of our mothers, but to illustrate the huge impact we, as women, can have on little girls and how they see themselves. Driving home the point, a new study shows that as young as 10 and 11-years-old, little girls start cultivating notions about the “ideal body.”  In an analysis of 4,000+students, published in the journal BMC Public Health, researchers found that young girls' happiness with their body image is directly linked to how thin they are. (On the other hand, boys were happiest when they were neither too lean nor too heavy.) Seven percent of the girls in the study reported not liking the way they looked, with the number increasing proportionately as girls' weight rose:

Among girls with normal body weight, 5.7% reported being unhappy with their bodies.

Among overweight (determined by BMI) girls, 10.4% reported being unhappy with their bodies.

Among obese girls, 13.1% reported being unhappy with their bodies.

Every single-unit increase in BMI measurement corresponded with an 8% increase in body dissatisfaction.

Whether we’re moms or not, I truly believe we, as women, owe it to younger girls to model healthier behaviors, to show them they CAN love themselves instead of calling themselves fat when they’re six or asking for Diet Coke instead of juice at snack time.

Some ideas (feel free to add to the list)...

5 things we can do to help our daughters love themselves:

-Resist the urge to hop on the scale – let alone multiple scales - at the gym when a little girl is in the locker room.

-Cancel subscriptions to magazines that promote emaciated models. 86 the Victoria’s Secret catalogs, too. And if your partner gets Playboy? That needs to stop…for so many reasons, the least of which you don’t want your little girl growing up thinking that it’s glamorous for women’s bodies to be objectified and exploited.

-Stop looking in the mirror, grabbing our hips or butt and scowling (at the very least, stop doing it in when we have an audience).

-Work out, take part in races or walks, take a weekly dance class – anything so they can see us as healthy, active older examples. My friend Ali recently competed in a triathalon and all I could think was, how cool for her five-year-old daughter to be at the finish line and see her strong mommy running across the finish line!

-Include your daughter or niece in healthy meal preparation, maybe grocery shopping and cooking together. Resist the urge to discuss how many calories are in pasta with your 12-year-old sous chef.

Have you noticed this with your daughter or friend's daughters? Have you done anything specific to instill a healthy body image in your daughter?

More on Girls and Body Image
Parenting Expert Dr. Michele Borba on Empowering Your Daughter
Defining a "Diva" with My Daughter
Why I'm Going to Watch Jessica Simpson's New Body Image Show