Die Mode hat sich geändert. Die Frauen haben sich verändert. Unsere Welt ist eine andere. No, you’re not reading about a new platform bed sale at IKEA – these are the words announcing a breakthrough modeling initiative at Brigitte, Germany's most popular women's magazine. Translated, they say: The fashion has changed. The women have changed. Our world is another.

When a dedicated NeverSayDiet commenter emails, I listen. When that dedicated NeverSayDiet commenter is a pissed-off pregnant woman, I listen even harder. Bdaiss recently wrote to me complaining (and rightfully so, I think you’ll agree) about the insane pressures placed on women – by themselves, by their friends, by the world at large – to get back to their pre-baby body ASAI (As Soon As Impossible.) The story that ticked her off? People Magazine recently wrote about Nicole Sullivan (an actress on Lifetime’s Rita Rocks) who has been announced as Jenny Craig’s newest spokeswoman.

When the weather is turning one of things I always recommend is to add tights and boots to a dress to give it a whole new look and take it forward into the change in season. So that’s why my “Pick of the Week” is Spanx Control Top Fishnets and their New Convertible Leggings.

The scene: Leslie enters Victoria’s Secret on Michigan Avenue, intending to use her “Free Panty” card. Upon learning they only have white hipsters, size XS, she moves over to the fragrance wall and spray herself with Rapture, her signature scent since 1998. A sale sign lures then lures Leslie over to the lace thong section, where she discovers Hanky Panky knockoffs are on crazy sale – seven for $25. That’s cheaper than Tar-jay! Filled with cheapster’s glee, she begins choosing from all the pretty colors. Sensing an easy commission, a salesgirl approaches…

Do you ever find yourself thinking, “Oh, this fake butter spray has zero calories and 0.1 grams of fat – therefore I can douse my broccoli in three coats of it, the culinary equivalent of Amy Winehouse and her AquaNet. Spray! Spray! Spray! More is more! Spray! Spray! Spray…” Me, too.

For all the badmouthing we hear over Barbie, her double Ds, her noodle-thin waist and so-long-and-thin-she’d-topple-over-if-she-were-alive legs, the fact remains, she was cool as hell to play with. When we were four, we didn’t yet realize she was starting what would turn out to be the slow demise of our body image, that soon, she’d be replaced by Playboy models and plastic surgery ads and all sorts of “You’ll never look as good as I do!” kinds of fun. We just loved making her bake cakes in the Barbie Dream House and growing her long, blonde locks to totally long lengths.

Shoplifting might get you thrown in the clink overnight. Offering a cop a joint might mean a hefty fine and mandatory drug education classes. Robbing a bank may land you in jail for a few years. And now, if French lawmakers have their way, altering a pic of a model to make her look thinner could be punishable with a fine

In July, we talked about Renee Zellweger’s upcoming weight gain three-peat, as it was announced that for the Bridget Jones threequel, R. Zell would be plumping up once again. The 40-year-old actress had reported packed on close to 30 pounds for each of the first two movies - 2001's Bridget Jones's Diary and the 2004 sequel, Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (she was nominated for an Oscar for the former flick) by loading up on biscuits and gravy, Snickers, milk shakes, pizza and buttery potatoes.

Like millions of other fans around the world, I was saddened to learn of Patrick Swayze’s recent passing from pancreatic cancer. He fought hard up until the very end, living up to the legendary strength and passion so many of us ascribed to him.

Looking to lose weight but don’t have the time or money for gastric bypass? You’re in luck: The "Chugay Tongue Patch" is a postage stamp-sized piece of mesh that Dr. Nikolas Chugay can surgically attach to your tongue with the goal of making eating painful.