Feeling Good

I grew up being overweight.  At 5 years old, I remember my nickname was BUTTERBALL. In 2005 I had Gastric By-pass surgery. Now at age 51, I struggle to keep off the weight and I fear that one day, I will become fat again. So no matter what side of the coin your on (under weight or over weight) weight is a big problem. The best thing is to be happy with yourself and try to manage your weight the best way you can.

My relatives were just awful to me especially during my teens (no all my life really, I'm 43). I was always kind of chunky, but when I was 15 I started a stupid radical diet by the time I was 16 years old, 5 feet tall and weighed 85 pounds. I had an uncle say to me that he had two names for me. When we are in public he'll call me "Crisco" and when we are in private he will call me "Lard-ass". I remember thinking, "I'll show him, I'll get down to 75 pounds and see if he'll call me that". Thank goodness for good friends who helped me out of my anorexia phase. I could see the dangerous thinking taking over. I married young and my husband took over the abuse role. I weighed 119 lbs and he'd talk about how I'd look like a model if I could just get this "chunk" off my belly cut off, or this "chunk" off my thighs cut off. After I delivered two sons in two years I had a hard time taking off my baby weight. At 135 pounds my husband would make elephant and dinosaur noises when I'd walk by. He'd sing the song "Take A Load Off Fanny" or "Fat Bottomed Girls"  or "Tank" at me. The abuse was daily. I hit 176 pounds when I realized that I was officially morbidly obese and made changes to get myself healthy. I dropped 55 pounds and he still made disparaging remarks. Sooooo
I DIVORCED HIM at 39 yrs old after 19 years of marriage (24 yrs all together). I am now with someone who loves me for who I am and dosen't mind the 15 extra pounds I've put back on. For the first time in my life I do not hear horrible remarks about my size. I have had to have counselling to get the negative soundtrack out of my head about my weight. I now focus on being healthy and happy and my life has totally blossomed. My ex has remarried a very heavy woman (how ironic is that since he always told me how he hates fat). I heard she's desperately trying to lose weight. What is weird is I may have forgot to mention that he's fat! Not once did I ever bring it up to him. But it looks like he's making some other poor woman's life miserable.
Good luck to you and know yourself. Say in the mirror every day that "you are a worthy person". Believe it because you are.

Karla, thank you for sharing your story with us..back in the 80's i lost about 68 lbs and i was put in hospital, because i couldn't eat...i was terrified to gain weight...would wake up and make sure i could feel my ribs and my hip bones. When i got out of the hospital, my father said to me..."what ever you do, don't gain weight, as your husband won't want you.( i was going through a bad marriage at the time, but my father didn't know)  or anyone else for that matter..i struggled to keep my weight down, but my father passed away from cancer in '88, and within one year, i went from about 130 to 269 lbs...he didn't have any power over me...and i began to eat..and eat i did...I now weight 230 lbs..and i'm taking care of myself, and exercising every day of some sort, and eating healthy..i wil lose the weight, not for anyone, but for me...because for the first time in a long time, i love myself...that is where it starts...good luck, and again thanks karla..God bless...

What your mother said, Marcella, is true but it is up to you how much better your body can be!  Don't let that comment hurt you.....Always remember that you ALWAYS have a choice to make it better or to make it worse...... You have to get healthy for you and for that baby. 

Good luck.

i suffer from anorexia to . after i had a baby my mother said your body would never be the same that hurt very badly