Image Reversal

It is so funny to think about what other people say and worry about it. If you want to know about a case that will show you that it's a way to ruin the life not based on reality at all, let me tell you about myself:

I am 5' 7'', weigh about 134 lbs and always been about that weight, a bit more, a bit less. I am what most people would consider good-looking, and I get a fair share of guys asking me out and telling me hot things on the street. However, if you ask my mother about me and get her to tell you what she thinks, you'd think I am some kind of swamp thing that would turn you to stone if you look at me.

Many people have told me what a beautiful skin I have. My mother thinks my face is wrinkly.

I have beautiful legs with just a little cellullite in the upper thighs. My mother thinks my legs are deformed cellullite-ridden flaccid things.

I don't have a perfect nose, but nobody ever complained about it or made fun of it. Except for my mother, who thinks it looks attached to my face and it has ugly skin just because I have a mixed type of skin, like 90% of people do. She also always suggest how much better would I look if I got a nose job.

A few people have told me what a great hair I have. My mother usually tells me it looks like the hair of a beggar that comes around once in a while.

I could go on, but you get the picture, don't you? Should I mention that I have an university title and she doesn't, yet she thinks I've accomplished nothing in my life? My mother is an old woman with very little money, divorced, and living in a little old house. Yet she thinks she has the right to speak about what should I do to be successful in life.

My point is, models of abuse go on on whatever thing, no matter how the person looks, has, or behaves. Since nobody's perfect, there will always be something an abuser will have to pick on you.

So people, just kick away the abuser and go on with your life. There'll be always someone out there who'd think you're great. Or many ones.

In the case of your father, isn't it more a case of "The KETTLE calling the POT-BELLIED?"

Why do you feel that you can't SAY this to your father?  Will he get angry?  Perhaps THAT is why you may carry some extra weight - the fear of people being angry with you - STRESS has a LOT to do with being overweight.

Perhaps you can choose another member of your family - one you can sit down and talk with calmly, who is a little kinder than the rest.  Tell that person how this makes you feel - that you feel a lack of love from your family  (this perhaps makes you compensate by eating more).  Try to get that person to side with you (or at least to stop saying hurtful things).  Then, when you have one person on your side, go the next least hurtful person and so on.....

I don't know know how overweight you are, but I was VERY big.  I am 5'5" and I weighed 282 pounds.  I was out of shape too so I jiggled all over when I walked - expecially my belly and my thighs and breasts...

Then, for health reasons, I stopped using salt (boiled chicken breasts or thighs, removing all obvious fat before cooking) and no salt in the water; boiled eggs, soft-boiled so I could spread the yolks over toast, also, when I made hamburgers for my husband, I made myself ONE and, in a little boiling water in a pot, cooked  it, and turned it just like frying, etc, etc.  I lost 32 pounds in 2 months.  I went to Florida with my brother (he paid my trip) and went off the wagon sometimes - it's amazing how much SALT they use in Florida!!  But my body took it well.  On my return it took only 1 week of eating properly to get on track again.  I also did as much excercise as I could - I would bend down to pick up a pencil slowly, making my stomach and back muscles work as much as possible.  I also used full cans of soup as weights to lift over my head and swing from front to back til they finally touched in back....

I don't know how old you are, or if you have a job, but it might be possible for you to rent a room somewhere if you are self-supporting.  If you are too young to do this, you can make the following your mantra:

ILLEGITIMI NON CARBORUNDUM

Cheers,

Yolanda

Since I'm not too fat or too thin (I weigh about 50kg and a waistline of 26), you'd think I'd never a single comment about my figure, right?

Wrong! Needless to say, I was shocked to receive it from the all-round nice guy. He didn't just call me fat, he said I was OBESE, if you could believe that. Of course, it might have been a slip of the tongue, but it was a mighty Ouch! moment. And if you could excuse him, some others had even worse to say:

"Look at how her thighs wobble, and what's that? Urgh! There are old people's spots on her legs!"---Girl by the pool

And the occasional sneer about how my out-of -shape butt belongs on a 40-ish woman (I'm in my 20s).

Even a friend's sister, who's absolutely gorgeous, wasn't spared- a boy on her campus called her Chunky.

My point is, people are never going to be satisfied with your appearance, so don't feel too hurt about it. You can't please everybody. Have pride in yourself-if you're gonna slim down, do it for your self, not for anyone else. Seriously, some people just don't know how insensitive they can be.

He was my first boyfriend and all were like a dream.We were having a great time, and he just seemed to adore me.But, one day, when we were in bed talking and lauphing, he said to me something I'll never forget.He told me that he realised something very serious;It doesn't matter if a girl is beautiful or ugly,he said.When I asked him why he said that, he answered that his ex-girlfriend was much more beautiful than I am,but it didn't matter in the end.It was like a thunder hit me.I said nothing, packed his things and asked him nicely to leave home.It was such a dramatic incident for me.

But when I hear stories, like yours, I feel that there are guys that are good and supportive.Good for you to have one!I really hope that love will knock my door again!

I had been always on the chubby side about +/- 20 lbs over and I was comfortable with myself. I loved me for who I was and all that mattered was that I was happy in the inside and the outside.About 2 years ago my husband moved to the Middle East. I was depressed, ate for comfort and gradually started putting on weight. I missed my family, my friends and ate at every opportunity.  I am now 51lbs over weight.  MY husband just laughs at me when I tell him I need his support to lose weight. At every opportunity I get to discuss my weight issue he laughs which results in me turning to food.

About 2 months ago I met my new best friend in this country which is a male. My friend is so supportive of me losing weight. He says he sees the beautiful person within me which attracted me to him.  It made me feel so good and has inspired me to lose weight for myself. It is a difficult journey ahead but I am going to stick with it and best friend is there to support me.

The one thing I loved the most was fizzy drinks. I had at least 6 cans of coke a day. It is now one month since I havehad a fizzy drink. It is just juice or water and I already feel a difference. To me this is the beginning to newer greater better life ahead.

"I"  is Important and could care less about my hubby's attitude anymore.